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Friday, February 8, 2008

Linguistic Jokes


Vipro

Here are a few Veerappan jokes.

Q: What is the name of Veerappan's IT company
A: VIPRO (Veerappan IT Products).

Q: What does Veerappan give as incentive to his employees?
A: VSOPs... Veerappans Sandalwood Options. They can cut the sandalwood trees 5 yrs after joining his gang.

Q: How does Veerappan's daughter begin a letter to him?
A: Dearappan.

Q: What happens if Veerappan becomes the chairman of Bambino vermicelli?
A: Kheerappan

Q: What happens if Veerappan becomes the chairman of Kingfisher?
A: Beerappan

Q: What happens if Veerappan becomes the chairman of Bisleri?
A: Neerappan.


Gopalakrishnan!

Q: Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
A: Comepalakrishnan.

Q: Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by Chennai???
A: Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means chen..nai...

Q: How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
A: Ready....Steady.....PO

Q: What do you call a really colorful Tamilian?
A: Rangamannar Rangarajan.


Mallu Oneliners again!

Why did the old Mallu go to co-ledge. He went to co-ledge to get some no-ledge !

Put the wind into the ball (because the football had to be blown up)!

There are so many Malayalees in the Air Force that it is zimbly called the India Nair Force !!!

Malayalam if spelt either ways is the same, so you never know if they are coming in or going out.

What degree did the Mallu get after completing law college? Yell Yell Bee .

Why did the Mallu buy a yer-ticket? To go to Gelf to yern money!


Mallu's Sense of Humour - Color Test

A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job
interview for the post of a SECRETARY.
When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and
gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair,
his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN."

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.
So he told her "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you,
then may be I will give you a chance.

The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:

I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go
and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that?
WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ........
Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank you."
The Manager fainted.......


James Bond vs Hyderabad guy

James Bond Style: The character James Bond has a peculiar style of introducing himself by saying first Bond, and then followed by great smile & finally James Bond. His style is absolutely killing but he doesn't know the consequences when he meets our great south Indian guy.

When Bond meets a Hyderabad guy James Bond: "My name's Bond... (Smiles and then says).... James Bond."

James Bond: "And you?"

Telugu Guy: "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai..... Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....

James Bond faints!!!




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